kamaperry

The weekend was awesome!! My two favorite breeds are: Maine Coon  and

some adorable little Abyssinian kittens!But the show was great, my friend’s cat won in the final competitions for all breeds, and the kitten I showed won finals in 3 out of 4 finals in the house pet division. I will prob go with her again on November 29.

The hotel was very nice, I was still sick so didn’t get to try the jacuzzi or weight room.

Dinner was good, and no, I didn’t stay op. at all, but I am back on it now, I didn’t get to work out this morning, my chest is still bothering me, but I am gonna try tomorrow.

Well, mom is starting to unravel, afraid I am at the end of my patience with her. I am afraid dementia/and or Alzhiemer’s may be setting in. So I called Hospice to see if they can help, I can’t do it all anymore, and it has started to interfere with work, my health, etc. I haven’t even had time to slow down and greive. I am going to do that this weekend, while Ted is gone, he is going to visit a friend in Washington, and I am looking forward to the time alone.

Poor Ted, has bent over backwards to help mom and she pretty much has verbally attacked him and gone against things she agreed on with us. Not going to go all into it here, but I feel she is acting out her anger over dad’s death and taking it out on Ted, so I have to distance myself from her. I will do the essentials, but that is it. I am going to call her dr tomorrow, to see if she can be placed some where. I just can’t do this anymore.

Anyways, enough of that, how is everyone? I sure missed you all. But it was nice to be away, too.

Hugs to you all!

I leave tomorrow morning early for my Tucson trip!! I am sooo looking forward to it!!

I really need this, I love my mom dearly, but all this is getting to me and Ted, too. Mom is sweet, but she gets kinda argumentative lately, and I really have to push her to get her to do what needs to be done. Spent alot of time on the phone this morning with Social Security trying to get it all worked out so mom can get her money. I think I got it done, though.

Mom went home yesterday. Last nite was the first nite it felt normal at home. Ted and I had a chance to talk, finally. The stress has been wearing on him, too.

I am up a pound today, I will go back to me workouts starting Monday.

My friend picks me up tomorrow at 6:30-7 am, and we will be showing her exotic cats in a show, and will have a big dinner party, too. So, my cheat day will be tomorrow.

How are all my buddies doing? I want you all to know how much I appreciate you all, even my therapist said I would not be doing so well without all your support, love you all!

Ok, gotta run, but I will be back later! Have a good one!

Well, I went to my therapist yesterday. She said it is a good thing I am getting away this weekend, she says I really need the break. So I won’t be on this weekend. I will miss you all lots and lots.

The good thing is both her and the lady from Hospice says I am doing all the right things to cope with my grief, though! My workouts, and the support I get from you all!

Mom and I are also going to attend a support group on the 17th of this month, it will focus on coping with the holidays, I’m feeling very anxious about how to handle them.

Plus, there will be a 6 week group in January.

So, I feel like we are getting some help.

My cold is better, still coughing and blowing, but I do feel better.

And I lost the weight I had gained, too. Not sure how I did it, but the 3 pounds were gone this morning.

I need to run, but I will be back at lunch, love you all!

I have to leave work early for my therapist appointment. But I wanted to tell you mom should be ok.

Ted went with her to social security, and things should be ok, they just need the paperwork from the place that did the cremation, and they will contact mom’s complex. SO releived.

I am some better, still sniffling and weak, so am taking a few days off on my workouts, due to Dr Anj’s and Jo’s advice, thanks, buddies!

I am too weak anyways, and all I do at home is sleep. So, instead of upping my calories to 1600 as planned I will keep them low until I can workout.

I have to, my weight on that dang scale was not good today. I have to get my control back. Mom is sweet, but she thinks she helps by pushing food on me, I had to really set my foot down last nite to some chocolate cake, mom didn’t need it either, I got her satisfied with some graham crackers instead, and she knows better, but she was bound and determined to have it, and I said no.

Any ways, I have made the decision to take control back starting today.

I sure love you all for hanging in with me.

I will have to read blogs tomorrow as I won’t be able to be on at lunch, have a great day!

I spoke to the apartment manager at mom’s complex. She said all mom has to do is pay what she can, and they will sign something called a non waiver. She said mom would be ok after that, but that the 5 day notice is NOT an eviction. So things are a little better. Thanks for the prayers.

I am still feeling yucky, buddies, don’t try and climb stairs when you are sick, I just did, and it was not a good idea, lol.

I am impatient to work out, but I see I will have to wait.

Hope you all are having a good day. Hugs!

Sorry to be MIa yesterday. I think I caught a cold or flu, so I took a day off yesterday.

Haven’t worked out since Saturday, I’m hoping to at least by Thursday.

Well the drama goes on. Mom didn’t get what she thought from Social Security, not even enough to pay rent, and her apartment complex gave her 5 days to pay. She and Ted went to the social security admin office today, and I left a message for her complex. This is ridiculous, she has lived there 15 years at least, and has been a good tenant. So I really still need your prayers, not sure what to do.

Trying to stay good on my eating, but it has been hard. NOT gonna get opn the scale until Friday.

Hope you all are doing good, love you guys!

Thanks for all the love and support. I thought of you all yesterday. I did ok on my eulogy.

Ted got up and spoke, mom did too and some other people.

The flowers were amazing.

I sure  appreciate you all, I can’t say that enough.

I did a short workout yesterday, still not feeling well, sore throat and all. My body always reacts to stress by getting sick.

My eating fell off last nite, too. Still not so good today, hard whne I feel so awful.

But I am still hanging in there.

Mom said she wished dad could have seen how I looked yesterday, I was wearing my long black dress,(size she said he would have been so proud, he liked to see his girls all dressed up.

But we are getting thru it. Please continue to pray for mom, her money is so tight, and she hasn’t gotten her check for this month yet, I know not having the death certificate yet may be slowing things down, I just hope her complex and her car finance people will be patient.

Well I sure hope you all have a good day, and congrat to the weight loss teams on their losses!

Love you all, Kama

Wanted to wish you all a happy Halloween.

Ready as we can be for dad’s memorial tomorrow. I wrote out the eulogy last nite. Was really hard.

I felt sick this morning, very sore and achey, so instead of working out, I stayed in bed. I think it is all emotional.

Hope you all are having a good day! I will be back later. Love you all.

Thanks for all the support when I crashed yesterday.

Anj, thanks for the tough love too.

Doing better today, had a nice dinner with my cousins last nite. And I didn’t do too bad, turned down dessert, and had a “petite” plate. That was enough for me.

Poor mom is so confused right now, and it is all I can do to keep my patience with her. Poor lady, I told her this morning to just rest and take it easy the rest of this week, we can hit it again after the memorial is over.

I am excited about something, though. Some of you had suggested I needed a break, and I didn’t know how I could do it, but a good friend of mine who raises exotic cats, is doing a cat show the weekend of 11/8 & 9 and she asked me to come with her. We will be staying in a resort in Tucson, and all I have to pay for is my food! Plus, they have fitness rooms and jogging paths and a free healthy breakfast buffet, too! I need the break, and Ted is very supportive, he will take care of mom for me.

Must be one reason my mood is better. That and all of your support. Alot of you have given way over and above during this time, more than I ever dreamed, and I thank you and love you with all my heart.

Did my power sculpt today, too, got up at 3:50 again, I swear, I feel it working!

Ok gotta go check my mail, will be back at lunch!

I know you must be sick of my depressing blogs, but I need to get this out.

Yes, I am angry, depressed, and tired of all of this greiving. Mom is not doing well healthwise, and I don’t know how to help her. The service is Saturday, and I don’t need her to fall apart on me now.

Too much to be done, and I have to work too. Ok, I know I am whining.

I feel overwhelmed by it all. Seems never ending. And my work just expects me to go on and focus, and I can’t.

I tried to do a challenge with Anj, and I can’t even seem to focus on that. Where did I go?

I do my workouts at least, it keeps my brain busy for a while, but I don’t sleep well, and my concentration is zero.

Sorry to be so depressing.

Was supposed to go for dinner with mom and my cousins tonite, but mom just canceled.

I need to get some stuff done tonite, anyways, and I just don’t feel like being social right now.

Mom needs to check out the apartments that go according to her income, but she doesn’t feel up to it, and I can’t, due to work.

Ok, enough moaning, I just had to vent. How are you all?

My weight seems stable at 138, 3 pounds up from goal, I’m grateful it is not more.

Ok, now that I dumped on you, I need to go. I will be back at lunch. Love you all, Kama