And God bless each and everyone of you and your families! I am so thankful for all of you, and my health and all the lessons I have learned!

Well, had a busy nite. Came home, made 2 loaves of pumpkin bread, and then dinner, and then packed to go to my friends house tomorrow. I may not be back on till Friday.

I did do a good workout tonite, too. Still shaking from that.

I am going to do my best to not pig out on Thursday, but will enjoy myself. Did good today. calories at 1600.

I am having strange problem though, been getting muscle cramps during my workouts! Like charley horses, not sure what is up with that, I take vitamins and drink plenty of water.

Well, hope our heat gets turned on soon, is pretty chilly here at nite. I called the complex today and they said the city has to check it first? jeez, first the air and not the heat, I will be glad when we can move.

so how are you all? I will miss you the next 2 days, but will be good to get away.

need to check in on the forums, have a good nite, love you all!

Just got home from step class.Was hungry! Iwas trying to be good, andI had my one chicken thigh, and some broccoli, but was still hungry, I did eat 2 cold hot dogs, bad I know. But then Igot the broccoli back out, and warmed it up, and had a bigbowl of it! Was really good.

Ok, can I say I am not sure I like all the mirrors in class? I don’t like my shape from the waist to my hips. That tummy bulge has got to go! I wish i could just cut off all the loose skin on my stomach, ugh! and my flabby under arms that wave at every one during cardio. Oh well, I am still awork in progress.

Did have a good heart pumping class, was gonna ry to go again tomorrow, but I have just got too much to do tomorrow nite, to get ready to go to my friend’s house. I will come home and do a work out, and try to see if ican watch some Bl, and then pack.

So how was your day? Ithink I am getting munchy in anticipation of Thursday. I wanted something so bad this afternoon, but I contented myself with some baked chips. I could have done worse. I know I amover my calories today, been real hard lately.

People who have never been fat just don’t get it. How hard it is to keep it off. They think “well you have done it now so you can stop”Not so! You have to work even harder to keep it off! Just because I work out hard, does not mean I can eat what ever I want!! Anyways, I had to get that out. My best friend doesn’t understand why I want to get home so I can workout on Friday, she wants me to stay an extra nite, but I need to get home to my pets and get to the gym. I will need it after thursday. I did talk to my trainer, we set up a definite time for Friday at noon, Iwill go to the 9 am class, and do some other stuff till then. I love my gym, turning into a gym rat, lol.

I have to say something, please take as it is meant, in love. We all need to remember why we are here. It is to get healthy and support each other. I see too much critisicm of blogs. If you don’t like what someone says, just move on, or at least try to be helpful. Don’t waste time picking apart someone else, or think that their success is a fluke.We are all working hard here. I am co leader of a challlenge, and it bothers me when I hear that other teams are running each other down. It is supposed to be fun and motivating. if one team wins, be happy for them! let’s all be supportive and keep in mind why we are here and just love each other, k?

I had to say that. I don’t want anyone feeling like they can’t blog what they need to or be proud of their success, this is a safe place, where we can be ourselves, let’s remember that.

ok, done with my say so, I love you guys!

You all blow me away. I am doing some better, just had to let it out. I am sure there is more. I just need to stop trying to bury it. I think it is why I am having trouble getting these last pounds off.

I did a good workout with Jillian after i got off here, and made my favorite flourless muffins, too.

Want to finish my necklace, but i needed to come on here and be with you all for a bit. You guys give me hope and courage to keep working at my health.

Waiting for the broccoli to get done, steaming it in patapar paper. I love it that way, Ted doesn’t, lol. So I make it for me.

Having more chicken and sweet potato too. Then will have a muffin with fat  free cool whip.Yummy.

tried to get my tv to work, it did come in, but I am thinking I may need a stronger antenna, going to check into that. We have alot of mountains on one side of us, that might be blocking the signal.

Anyways, i am here for awhile, wow, 3rd blog of the day!

Love you all very much, what would i do without you?

For the awesome comments. It occurred to me that the only way I am going to get thru these holidays is to come here and talk about it. Thanks for bearing with me.

Things I miss:

Mom’s baking

Her cranberry sauce

Dad taking me our for our annual “date’ we did this each year at Christmas time.

My mom decorating for Christmas

Playing Christmas carols all season

Dad reading the Christmas story from the Bible on Christmas eve.

mom’s cookies and peanut brittle.

My childhood tree, I was allergic to the real ones as a kid, so we had an aluminum one for a while with the color wheel. Remember those? I thought it was magical, and Iwould watch it for hours.

Yes, my family made the holidays a magic time, and now I have to do it by myself. I am praying for the strength to honor their memory. I just wish they were here. Sorry, I am just trying to get some of this pain out. if this is too depressing, please move on, I understand.

November 22, 2009

Quote of the Day

“One day in retrospect the years of struggle will strike you as the most beautiful.”
– Sigmund Freud

So, I wasn’t sure what to write today(why is my typing looking like this?)

But this quote got me to thinking about all the blogs, I have read recently. Seems like alot of us are in a good place right now. Learning about who we are and what works for us. I love it.

Well down a pound from Friday, my kickbutt workout helped!

I would kinda like to fire my trainer, lol. But since he is cute, I will give him another chance hehe.

Sorry my typing looks funny not sure why it is doing this.

So took some time to think this morning, i can’t seem to get out of the 140’s, but I don’t want to stop trying.

so how do I make peace with this? Do I keep beating myself up? I seem to have trouble lately not giving in to treats, not sure if  it is my state of mind or what. The thing I keep sweeping under the carpet is how much I still miss mom and dad(I know you are prob tired of hearing it), they left a big hole in me, and I am not sure it will ever be filled. Maybe that is why I eat? Hmmmm, that is a thought.

So this morning I read that quote; I thought yes, it has taken me years to get where I am, and still not at goal, but I would not trade what I have learned and the friends I have made for anything. I do not mind one bit, I will be doing this for the rest of life. My life is so much more than it ever used to be.

Anyways, I am rambling.

I did almost get my necklace made last nite, worked on it till I couldn’t see straight, will finish it tonite.

That is all for me today, love you all!

How are you? I have had a great day.

First of all, Ted did not have to spend the night at the airport!He called the bus station, and found out he could catch the light rail at 5 am. Meant he had to walk 6 miles to get there, but better than spending the nite at the airport! Have to admire him for doing the walking!

Well got all the laundry done last nite. Then he tells me he forgot to have me wash his jacket and it was all full of cat hair! So I had to do one more load,but got it done. I didn’t even wake up when he left this morning!

Went to the gym, and did 30 minutes on the bike and then did the 3o minute core class, then the 55 minute step class.

Kinda miffed at my trainer, we were supposed to have a session today, but he didn’t write it down, soI made an appt for Monday.

After that, I went back to the bead store and got some more beads to accent the ones I had already, got a great idea for a necklace. Will be working on that tonite, while I watch a movie.

So happy with myself, my endurance is getting better! During the class there are parts of it, you can take up a notch by hopping, before I was keeping it low impact, but today decided to try it, and I did fine! Still abit awkard on some of the steps. but getting better! I have met some cool people too, and we all put our steps next to each other and hang out and talk before class, today we were all discussing our fave desserts, lol!! Funny right before class. I think we are all looking forward to Thanksgiving!

Was kinda sad about Ted leaving last nite, and I got into popcorn, ugh. So my calories were around 1900 for the day.

Better today, I will have 1512, from what I have planned. Am baking some chicken for dinner, and will have that, salad and a baked sweet potato.

Not feeling sad anymore, i am actually enjoying this! got the house to myself, and have the radio playing, and having a stress free play day!

tommorrow working out at home, gonna try to workout Tuesday nite, too. Since I won’t be on Wednesday and Thursday.

Soooo, what are you up to??? Love you guys!

I got there in plenty of time for class tonite! Was a good one! We did step, and lower body, and I was drenched by the time we were done! Then I stayed for core class!! I really, really, really love my gym!!

Eating was great today, and I had a much better day!

Well, Ted has to leave for the airport tomorrow nite, since the bus doesn’t come early enough Saturday morning. That sucks,  ’cause he will have to sit in the airport all nite. Well, we do what we have to.

If I don’t get to alot of blogs tonite, I promise to get seriously caught up this weekend!

Everyone ready for Thanksgiving? I am, kinda nice I am not cooking, going to my best friend’s house to spend it with her and her family, really looking for ward to it.

gotta run to the forums, love you all!

Hope this posts. I had a kind of crappy day. Started last nite. First no reception of NBC, so no Biggest Loser! I look forward to it all week. tried to get it on my computer last nite, but since I am on dial up, loading was impossible.

Then I got to work, and just felt crabby and out of sorts. Think it is hormonal. So I had a cup of hot cocoa instead of the candy bar I wanted. The rest of my eating was good.

Well I was looking forward to my circuit class, and the stupid bus was late, so all I got to do was 30 minutes on the bike at 8 rpm. Still worked up a good sweat. Also set my 2nd appt with my trainer for saturday.

Planned out a different bus route for tomorrow too. Will NOT keep missing my classes.

Well sorry for being a downer, just a disappointing day. Love you guys!

See if this posts

Ok, first of all, I have gotten into the habit of snacking on craisins, not good. And that is what made me so sick! Hits my stomach like a ton of bricks! I was so sick again!

Did do a 4o minutes step class tonite(bus was late) and then 30 minutes on the bike.

So the wedding was awesome, was at the historical Sahauro Rose Garden, in front of the landmark houses that were built in 1897!! beautiful, the wedding was on the lawn surrounded by the rose garden. The bride arrived in a horse drawn carriage! I got weepy over that.

it was chilly though, but then they have the reception at the pavilions, and well, there was no healthy food in sight, so yeah I fell off the wagon. but I danced and danced, so that should help. Iremember why I don’t like high heels, ouch! I ended up dancing in my stocking feet! We danced all evening, all good old classic rock! The kids were so cute, dancing too.

They did the traditional bouquet and garter toss, but what I thought was cool is they did a teddy bear toss for the kids! Cute!

It was a great evening, but I am firmly back on plan. I totally enjoyed myself.

So how are you?

I am ok, stomach still a bit crampy, but lesson learned on the cranberries! love you all!